


i want us (all strings attached)

by kenhinasuga



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: But also, Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, Fluff, GURGLE KAGESUGA IN LOVE GURGLE, M/M, Mild Smut, Neck Kissing, Plans For The Future, Post-Time Skip, Reminiscing, Smut, Stealing Kisses, Undefined Relationship, and so is tobio, excessive mentions of koushi's smile bc author is in love, i still suck at tagging what else is new, i think?? does it count as mild??, it was brought to my attention that mild smut is putting it too mild (bad pun intended), lots of projecting and self-indulgence as always, sorry for the shitty summary i suck at that those too, that's what it boils down to, tobio visits koushi's school, with a little bit of uncertainty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:00:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27162844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenhinasuga/pseuds/kenhinasuga
Summary: Tobio visits Koushi's school on a rare day off and they finally define their relationship.
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio & Sugawara Koushi, Kageyama Tobio/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 26
Kudos: 119





	i want us (all strings attached)

**Author's Note:**

> i don't even know what to say about this like i can't write children for the life of me so idk why i thought this was a good idea, but as always i said fuck the plot let's make it all about two soft fools in love so there you have ittttt .....

Tobio gets out of the car and thanks the driver. He still feels weird arriving at an elementary school in a car with tinted windows and a personal driver waiting for him, but it was the price of coming here without turning it into some weird press stunt. Tobio checks his reflection in the tinted glass and fixes the collar of his coat, smoothing down his hair and giving up when a stray piece refuses to stay down.

He’s nervous. It's been casual, even though Tobio doesn't really know how to do _anything_ casually, but today is different. Since the Adlers versus Jackals match where Koushi came up to him with tears in his eyes and a wobbly smile that screamed _I'm so proud of you_ , asking him for his autograph, they've seen each other a few dozen times. It could’ve been just one night of reunion euphoria and one too many drinks, but instead they kept it going without ever talking about what _it_ is.

Tobio takes a deep breath and curls his fingers around the strap of his gym bag, turning around and striding through the entrance of the elementary school with more confidence than he feels. He’s a little early, but it gives him time to look for the staff room. He finds it more easily than he expected, Koushi’s detailed explanation turning out to be fool proof, and Tobio hesitates in front of the door.

He can hear the faint voices of children from everywhere around him, a subdued cacophony of sounds, and he listens for a while longer, tuning into the slightly high-pitched chatter to prepare himself for what's to come. He’s even more nervous now, but at least he won't be dealing with it on his own.

Tobio cautiously knocks on the door and waits for a response, knocking a second time when nothing happens. He stands around feeling more awkward by the second, hold on his bag tightening, and debates whether to knock again or just text Koushi when the door opens slightly and a man, not much older than him, peaks his head through the opening.

Tobio stares at him for a moment before remembering he's probably supposed to say something. "Hello, s-sir. I'm looking for Sugawara-sensei," he barely manages to recover from the slight hiccup, but the man's face lights up in recognition and he opens the door the rest of the way. "Kageyama-san! Come in, come in," he exclaims and steps aside, sweeping his arm in invitation.

Tobio gingerly enters and feels crowded immediately. The staff room is relatively spacious and there are only five other people inside, but their eyes are glued to him in a way that has his skin feeling stretched taut across his bones. He bows in greeting before taking a second sweep of the room and finding Koushi nowhere in sight. He clears his throat and looks to the man still lingering by the open door, also staring at him now. "I think I'm too early..." he trails off, cursing himself internally for not just texting Koushi.

The man jolts into action, words streaming from his lips, and ushers him further into the room, closing the door and sealing Tobio's only option for escape. He leads him to a desk next to one of the windows and gestures towards the chair, still talking non-stop. Tobio nods along and tries to give the appropriate responses, but luckily the man doesn't seem to expect a reply from him, bulldozing on even after asking a question. Somehow, it's almost calming and Tobio manages to retain the important pieces of information. Koushi is at the nurse's office with a student and he's welcome to wait here.

The man slaps his back in a friendly manner and Tobio lowers himself onto the chair, dropping his bag at his feet. "Koushi-kun must've been a really good senpai if you agreed to this. None of us really believed he'll make it happen," the man laughs and Tobio straightens, feeling defensive all of a sudden. "I learned a lot from Koushi-san! This is the least I can do!" He exclaims without hesitation, the most confident he's sounded and _felt_ since he entered the school grounds. The man jolts a little, but recovers quickly and smiles in a way that Tobio can't quite read. "Well...he'll be here soon," he says simply and knocks his knuckles against the desk, returning to whatever he was doing prior to Tobio's arrival.

The confidence drains out of Tobio just like that and he wonders for a moment if he should have asked for his name, but as far as first impressions go, this certainly wasn't his worst misstep. He slouches into the chair, aware of several people still eyeing him intently, and searches for a distraction. Koushi’s desk provides him with more than enough things to look at. It seems almost messy at first glance, but the longer he looks the easier it becomes to recognise a system. There are colourful post-its peaking out from all the stacks of files and papers on the desk, handwriting on them achingly familiar.

Tobio brushes his fingers against the edge of a bright pink post-it, taking in the neat lettering without reading the actual words. His hand is itching to try and copy it, reminded of tracing over the autograph Koushi created for him until he felt like he could reproduce it with his eyes closed. It's become muscle memory long ago and no longer resembles Koushi’s template line for line, speed and quantity having turned it into more of his own, but it's impossible to forget who made it for him. He traces his fingers over the lines and curves of Koushi’s script before continuing his survey of the desk.

Tobio has the urge to take apart the system, learn it inside and out and put it back together, but instead he cranes his neck to look beyond the stacks of Koushi’s workload, leaving everything undisturbed. There's a small pinboard behind one of the stacks, leaning against the windowsill, with several postcards of different countries stuck to it and Tobio wonders if Koushi has ever been outside of Japan. He's sure he'd like Italy.

In between the postcards are colourful renditions of Koushi’s face and various misshapen animals, drawings speaking volumes about his popularity with his students, and Tobio chides himself for feeling _proud_. He had no doubt Koushi would excel at whatever he chooses to do, but it took his brain a while to wrap around the idea of him, or anyone really, pursuing a career outside of volleyball. He's become less naive since then and Koushi teaching children feels _right_ in a way he still can't quite explain.

The pinboard seems to be the only personal touch on his desk and Tobio looks out of the window at the empty schoolyard to stop himself from rummaging through the drawers. He flexes his fingers absentmindedly and watches the leaves fall from the trees, turning strangely serene. His head is comfortably empty, none of the weird nerves from earlier remaining, and he sinks further into the chair, turning his gaze to the clouds. Tobio is ready to doze off, typing and the soft rustling of papers lulling him to sleep, and he stifles a yawn. It's one of his rare days off, but he went to practice before coming anyway and a nap right about now doesn't sound so bad. He crosses his arms across his chest and closes his eyes, just wanting to rest them for a little while.

A loud bang startles him a few moments later, jolting upright in the chair and eyes flying open. “Tobio!” The voice is unmistakable and he whirls around, greeted by the sight of a beaming Koushi on the threshold to the staff room. Tobio quickly gets up to greet him properly, grabbing his gym bag and slinging it across his shoulder. He bows to him and Koushi’s laugh echoes through the room. Tobio straightens just in time to see him stride across the room towards him, smile as bright as always and eyes almost disappearing with his cheeks bunching up. Tobio can't help but stare a little.

It’s his favourite smile, any smile on Koushi’s face is his favourite, but the unabashed way in which he lets it spread on his face, showing his teeth, is a sight he’d like to see daily. He looks… _warm_. It's the only word his brain can come up with before Koushi is right in front of him, maybe a little closer than necessary. "I'm sorry, have you been waiting for long?" He asks so casually it feels like this meeting is no different from any other and somehow Tobio feels at ease and alert at the same time.

He ducks his head a little, leaning closer towards him on instinct, and reassures him, "I was early." Koushi pats his head and smoothes his palm over his hair, lingering at the back of his neck for only a moment. Tobio curls his fingers into the strap of his bag. He wasn’t expecting such an intimate greeting when there are other people right here with them, but the familiarity of the gesture feels strangely reassuring. "Everyone's so excited to meet you. They've been talking about nothing else the whole week,” Koushi says and rests his hand on Tobio’s arm, tugging slightly at his coat before letting go.

Tobio's feet follow him on their own. It's a good thing his legs work without his input because his brain is too busy thinking about Koushi walking so close to him, arms brushing and hands bumping against each other. Something about the school setting takes him back to high school, remembering moments so similar to this and wishing he had understood why his chest felt so weird being around Koushi back then. His head conjures up a different version, one in which he’s already had his sexual and emotional awakening, and he wonders what Koushi would’ve done back then if he grabbed his hand, but he likes his reality better.

Koushi’s fingertips grace against his palm and Tobio loosely curls his fingers to hold onto him. It’s not exactly holding hands, but it’s a constant point of contact and Tobio _likes_ that a lot. "We're heading to the gym where our volleyball team is gathered," Koushi supplies and Tobio can hear the pride and excitement in his voice. He chances a glance at his face and almost trips over his feet. The expression he sees is so painfully familiar, third-year Koushi’s softer features overlapping with this older version. It's the same hunger and determination, the same love for volleyball so evident. Tobio squeezes his fingers for a moment and Koushi’s lips quirk into a smile.

They cross the schoolyard, hands back to bumping against each other, and they stop in front of a small building. Koushi looks around before turning to him and stepping into his space. He slides his hand down Tobio’s arm and into his palm, intertwining their fingers. There’s something heavy in his gaze and Tobio swallows thickly. "Thank you for coming," Koushi says with such sincerity Tobio feels a little breathless, chocking out his reply, "Of course.” Koushi squeezes his hand softly, eyes flickering to his lips, and Tobio inhales shakily.

He starts leaning in on instinct, stopping himself when he realises what he’s doing and smiling sheepishly. Koushi laughs softly and brushes his lips against his cheek. It's barely a second, a ghost of a touch, but Tobio feels it down to his toes. He blinks slowly, taking in Koushi’s pleased little grin and feels himself smiling in return. "Let's see that team of yours," he says softly and Koushi nods, squeezing his hand again before letting go. “Let's."

————————

Koushi takes him to a special entrance that leads directly to the staff changing room and Tobio can already hear the familiar sounds of shoes squeaking on the floor, accompanied by the faint noise of children’s voices. He’s nervous again, but having Koushi by his side makes it feel more like excitement. He sets his bag down and takes off his coat, hanging it on one of the hooks. He unzips his bag and places his neatly folded uniform onto the bench. It feels a little silly wearing his Schweiden Adlers uniform, but Koushi insisted and there’s really nothing that could make him say no to one of Koushi’s smiles, especially when it’s pressed against his collarbone. Tobio shivers slightly at the memory, taking off his shirt with unsteady hands.

He makes quick work of getting changed and turns towards Koushi when he’s done, finding him shirtless but otherwise dressed. He blinks slowly once, twice, staring more intently than appropriate, but he knows Koushi doesn’t mind, reinforced by the way his movements slow down, sliding his shirt over his head languidly. None of the hickeys Tobio left on him have remained, even the place he bit hard enough to almost draw blood looks brand new, and he’s reminded of how rarely he gets to see him, time between meetings stretching and stretching. Koushi tightens his shoelaces and faces him. “Ready?” He asks, hands on his hips and chest puffed out a little. Tobio takes in his jersey for the first time and sucks in a breath that changes nothing about the sudden lack of air in his lungs. It's _his_ jersey, not just some replica, but the one he forgot at Koushi's apartment.

Koushi turns around and points his thumb at his back, smiling at him over his shoulder. _Kageyama_. “I’m always cheering for you,” he says, voice dropping a little. High school Tobio wouldn’t have understood the deeper meaning of that statement, might have taken it as a challenge, but he’s changed since then, in no small part thanks to the very person standing in front of him now, wearing his name proudly. “Thank you,” he says, but means so much more.

He closes the space between them and rests his hands on Koushi’s hips, leaving a few inches between them. Koushi tilts his head back and presses closer, back flush against Tobio’s chest. He slides his hand onto his nape and pulls him into a kiss. The angle is familiar, Tobio clinging to Koushi from behind whenever the opportunity allows it. He likes it better the other way around, likes feeling wrapped up in him, but something about embracing him like this, covering his back while he takes the lead, is better in its own way.

Koushi pulls away and exhales shakily, putting space between them again. “This is my workplace,” he mutters under his breath and Tobio remembers where they are. It’s too easy getting lost in just the two of them and he almost apologises, but Koushi whirls around, looking perfectly composed and ready to take anything head on. He softens a little when their eyes meet and Tobio takes a single step closer, always acting on instinct, always following the invisible pull to be _closer_ to him. Koushi mirrors him, space between them bridged again just like that. He's right there, they just kissed, and yet being this close to him without getting to touch him feels impossible.

Tobio knows desire intimately, craving and yearning have been his companions for years, and he's never shied away from working towards the realisation of his desires, but Koushi isn't volleyball and now isn’t the time. Koushi rests his palm against his cheek and smiles at him. There might be a promise there, but Tobio isn’t sure. Koushi nods towards the door. “Let’s do this," he says and steps back. Tobio feels the loss of proximity like a limb being ripped from him and he forces a nod in return, following him into the gym.

————————

The kids are a lot, excitement overflowing as soon as Tobio enters the gym, but Koushi seems completely unfazed. He claps twice and the noise dies down. It's hard not to get reeled in by the quiet authority he exudes, commanding the whole room with a gentle hand and that _warmth_ Tobio knows so well. He listens just as attentively as Koushi’s students, joining into the chorus of _Yes, sensei_ without realising. Koushi's eyes flicker to him, lips twitching in amusement without missing a single beat of his introduction speech, and Tobio hopes his slight embarrassment isn't showing on his face.

They start with a short Q&A session, sitting down with the kids in a semi-circle in front of them. It's not as difficult to get through as interviews and press conferences, especially with Koushi by his side to reassure him through his presence alone, and it only takes a few questions for Tobio to relax, realising everyone can follow his use of volleyball terminology. The questions turn to Karasuno and their time as teammates and Tobio tries his hardest not to become as defensive as he did earlier in the staff room, but he can't quite stomach the idea that even Koushi's own students would believe he made it all up. "Don't you trust your sensei?" He blurts out in the middle of a kid's question and Koushi's leg presses closer against his.

Tobio is sure he ruined his momentum, the kid staring at him with wide eyes, but Koushi saves him with a laugh, preventing any awkward tension from building. “I told you so,” he teases and actually sticks his tongue out at his students. Laughter follows his antics and the kid brushes off Tobio’s interruption like it's nothing, asking a different question instead.

The rest of the Q&A session goes smoothly, but Tobio is still glad when it's over. Koushi squeezes his thigh before moving on, telling the kids to warm-up. Tobio joins in, going through his own routine without taking his eyes off him. Koushi demonstrates the stretches and offers help wherever he's needed, moving between the students with such ease as if he could multiply himself, seemingly at two places at the same time.

The kids play a set for him to watch and Tobio's attention is divided between the court and Koushi. He forgot how perceptive Koushi has always been when it comes to volleyball, his sideline insights into their opponents used to give them many advantages in high school, but seeing it in real time like this is strangely mesmerising. Koushi _knows_ his students and shouts out tips and encouragements at all the right moments, picking up on the smallest changes in momentum before they’ve had a lasting impact.

Tobio fumbles his way through feedback afterwards, but Koushi is there to help him, rephrasing and picking up where he left off when he struggles to find the right words. Despite his obvious shortcomings in simply _speaking_ , the kids are latched onto his every word, and it becomes easier as he goes on, trying to imitate the way Koushi never talks down to them.

Tobio hopes he can make up for it when he joins them on the court, finally in his element. Give him a court and a ball and he's home. He demonstrates his serve and Koushi stops his students from trying to receive it, explaining the speed and power behind it. Tobio almost asks him to try, itching to play with him and show him firsthand how much he’s changed since high school, but something tells him he wouldn’t be able to stop once they start.

They move on to spiking and Tobio sets the ball for the kids, going too easy on them at first. There's a strange thrill to adjusting his set to each kid, height of both their bodies and jumps varying drastically. It’s a good practice in restraint and Tobio finds himself enjoying setting for them. He tries to remember all their names to give Koushi more in-depth feedback later and something about the way Koushi is so casual about saying their names as often as possible makes Tobio feel _seen_. A feeling he didn't quite understand during high school, but can't stop yearning for now, and Koushi makes it seem so easy to have permanently. He's there and he _sees_ Tobio.

Names aren't his strong-suit no matter how hard he tries and he sticks to identifying them by defining features in his head, but he retains about half of them by the time they're taking the commemorative group photo. Tobio smiles easily, Koushi's arm around his shoulders, and doesn't even mind the two kids clinging to his legs. He signs everything that's held in front of his face and Koushi stands way too close to him, breath hitting the back of his neck every time he subtly supplies the name of each kid in a whisper. It makes Tobio's replies a little stiff and awkward, skin tingling all over, but he receives toothy smile after toothy smile for getting everyone's names right.

————————

When they're done, already half an hour overtime, Koushi gathers everyone in a semi-circle around them again for the final goodbye. There are several complaints, but he shushes them by clapping twice and Tobio just can't stop feeling in awe. "Now, now, this is no way to thank our guest," he scolds teasingly and everyone straightens. Koushi gives them a sign and they all bow simultaneously. "Thank you for your time, Kageyama-sensei!" Tobio feels wholly undeserving of that title, but bows in return. "Thank you for having me!" He booms in reply, using his best post-game voice. It's definitely too loud in the small gym and without the noise of an audience to compete with, but the kids erupt in delightful shrieks. Tobio really didn't expect this to go so well. "Okay, everyone, your parents are waiting! As an extra treat, I'm in charge of clean-up today! Enjoy your weekend!” Koushi easily overpowers the noise, but his words only intensify the shrieks. It still seems to do the trick and his students file into the changing rooms quickly, taking the noise with them.

Koushi waits until the last one is gone, door closing behind him, before turning to Tobio. He picks up a ball close to him and spins it in his hands. "I really missed getting to see you set up-close," he says almost wistfully and Tobio feels at a loss, acutely aware they’re alone now and never discussed what would happen _after_. Tobio had assumed there would be an after, but he isn't so sure anymore. "Would you toss to me for a little bit, Koushi-san?" He asks before he's thought it through and Koushi smiles at him in a way that sends Tobio right back to the day he finally figured out why he feels the way he does around him: Honest smiles that live under his skin, kind eyes that leave him feeling stripped to the bone, that pretty mole that seems to call out to him, pink lips he dreams about. Not much has changed since his high school days, but now he understands and the yearning in his chest has a name.

"I'd like that," Koushi replies, breaking through his dazed remembrance, but his smile drops a little. "But we already went overtime and I have to lock up by five," he adds softly and Tobio tries not to make his disappointment too obvious. He knows he failed when Koushi starts towards him and he curtly leans down and picks up a ball, feeling childish. "I'll help you clean up, then," he offers, trying to smile reassuringly and unsure if he’s succeeding.

He tosses the ball into the cart standing across the court from them and Koushi whoops when he makes it in. Tobio feels successful in averting a moment of tension and watches Koushi walk onto the court, gathering as many balls as he can carry. He once again sees third year Koushi overlapping with him. He's wearing his gakuran and holding his graduation certificate, his back facing Tobio as he walks away. It felt like the end back then, but it was only a temporary interlude, a _necessary_ interlude. Tobio cards his hand through his hair, shaking his head a little at himself for reminiscing so much. This school is more strange than familiar and yet it’s creeping under his skin, evoking memories.

Tobio picks up another ball and finds Koushi looking at him curiously. He tosses it into the cart, earning himself another whoop, and keeps doing it until they’ve gathered all the balls, last one remaining in Koushi’s grasp. "Can I treat you to a meal?" He blurts out and Koushi drops the ball into the cart, pushing it over to him. "Shouldn't I be the one treating you?" He muses, leaning against the cart and looking at him with a small smirk that promises more than food. "Whatever you want," Tobio replies a little too honestly, buzzing with the thought that Koushi might’ve thought about _after_ as well.

Koushi cocks his head like he's seriously thinking about Tobio’s words and somehow that only makes him want to repeat them, meaning them even more. "I want to cook for you," Koushi decides and Tobio nods eagerly, earning himself a soft laugh. Koushi rounds the cart, moving into his space so easily Tobio can’t help but feel he _belongs_ there. Tobio wraps his arms around his waist and pulls him against his chest, burying his face in his hair. "This is my workplace," Koushi scolds softly, echoing his earlier words, but slides his hands onto the back of Tobio’s neck at the same time.

His fingers card into Tobio's hair, tugging softly, and Tobio lifts his head, looking down at him. Koushi's smile is warm and inviting, eyes crinkling slightly, and Tobio feels the need to kiss him like a spark running through his nerves. He follows the feeling on instinct like he always does and starts to lean in, stopping himself just in time. "Can I kiss you?" He asks in a rasp and Koushi laughs, pulling him down and muffling the sound against his lips. Tobio is hit once again by how _easy_ he makes everything, kissing him until he feels breathless, as if they're at his apartment and not embracing each other in the middle of an elementary school gym. Koushi pulls back with a small sigh, eyes remaining closed and allowing Tobio to bask in the content expression on his face.

His eyes blink open almost in slow-motion, taking a few seconds before focusing, and he sighs again. "I missed you," he admits softly, holding Tobio's gaze in a way that leaves no room to doubt, and it makes Tobio feel brave. "Me, too," he replies in a whisper and Koushi's lips curve into a smile, small and soft. It's one he sees rarely, only showing itself in those quiet moments when for a few precious moments everything seems to fall perfectly into place.

Tobio can't help himself and captures that quiet smile with his lips, needing to feel its shape and remember its taste. Koushi breaks the kiss first again and cups his face, dragging his thumb across Tobio's lips. "It's good to see you smile so much," he breathes out as if the thought just slipped out, too large to be contained, and Tobio almost reaches up to touch his own face, confused at the statement. Koushi is still tracing his lips with his thumb and he closes his eyes, feeling the shape he’s following.

It’s definitely a curve and Tobio smiles wider, feeling the stretch of his lips and the way his cheeks move higher. Koushi groans softly and drops his hand, hiding his face against his chest. “I’m too young for a heart attack,” he mumbles and knocks his forehead against Tobio’s chest a few times. Tobio just smiles and watches, wondering if Koushi realises the effect his own smile has on people. It’s like being exposed to the sun for too long, but unable to survive even a day without seeing it burn in all its glory.

————————

They quickly get changed and stop by the staff room on their way back. Koushi gathers his things while Tobio waits. There's nobody around anymore and Tobio stays close to him, constantly in his space while he packs what he needs into his briefcase. The smile on his face lets Tobio know it's okay to be so close, maybe even _wanted_ , and he rests his chin on Koushi's shoulder, watching his hands move around the stacks on his desk with practiced ease.

Koushi slides a final paper into his briefcase and closes the clasps. Tobio's eyes catch on the small pin adorning the front and he reaches out, tracing the outline with his fingertips. It's the Schweiden Adlers logo and he hides his smile against the side of Koushi's neck. Koushi covers his hand with his own, warmth seeping into his skin and the cold metal of the pin pressing against his palm. He feels Koushi swallow against his lips and he kisses his neck, pulse quickening against his lips. There's something unsaid between them, something too important to reveal to the empty staff room, something that needs to be kept safe until they're in the sanctuary of Koushi's apartment.

Tobio kisses his neck again before leaning back and slides the briefcase out from underneath Koushi's hands. Losing proximity is always a shock to his system, but the weight of the briefcase feels like a tether, and he tightens his grip a little on the handle. Koushi looks at him over his shoulder with a smile and Tobio can almost see the unspoken words in the curve of his mouth. "I'm making curry," he says instead, but to Tobio it sounds exactly like another three words. He cups the back of Koushi's neck with his hand and presses his smile against his lips, two curves meeting and widening.

They don't hold hands while walking through the empty halls, but Koushi's fingers are hooked into the sleeve of Tobio's coat, knuckles occasionally brushing against his wrist. Koushi is quiet next to him and Tobio steeps in the comfort of his silence, reminiscing their high school days until they're off school grounds. He steps onto the curb in front of the entrance and his brain goes perfectly blank for a moment, letting go off any regrets. He needed his time to arrive at this moment, standing next to Koushi with the certainty that this is what he wants, that he deserves to want it and be wanted in return.

The black car with tinted windows pulls up in front of them and Tobio opens the door for Koushi. Koushi laughs and slaps his chest, but his expression is pleased. "So this is what it feels like to be a VIP, huh?" He muses, hand lingering on Tobio's chest before getting into the car. Tobio closes the door and rounds the car, sliding into his seat and placing Koushi's briefcase between them. He tells the driver Koushi's address and leans back.

Koushi starts up a pleasant conversation with the older man and it's the first time Tobio's heard his voice. He seemed just as okay with silence as Tobio, but it's so easy talking to Koushi, getting roped into a conversation by his smile and friendly disposition.

He tries to listen, taking mental notes for future occasions that require small talk beyond mentioning the weather, but it becomes an impossible feat when Koushi pokes him softly. Tobio looks down, finding his hand palm up on the backseat, covered from sight by his briefcase. He's still talking normally even when Tobio covers his hand with his own and that seems pretty unfair, Tobio's senses focusing all their attention on the point of contact. He forces himself to look out of the window, staring at the city passing them by without seeing anything.

It's not a long drive, but it feels like a small eternity and Tobio's stomach is taut with anticipation. Koushi slides his hand out from underneath his and grabs his briefcase, thanking the driver and mentioning something about his youngest daughter that Tobio tries to echo without knowing the context. They get out of the car and Tobio remembers to tell the driver not to wait up before bowing hastily and hurrying after Koushi. He lives on the fifth floor, no elevator, and he takes the stairs in twos with practised ease. Tobio keeps up with him and they reach his apartment in no time.

Koushi unlocks the door to his apartment and kicks off his shoes, dropping his briefcase and throwing his coat on the floor. He pulls Tobio inside his apartment by the lapels of his coat, kicking the door shut and crowding him against it. Koushi presses so close the strap of Tobio's gym bag digs into his back, but he has no complaints when Koushi starts nosing along his jaw, leaving a trail of kisses up and down his neck. He slides his hands under Tobio's shirt and sighs at the moment of contact, nipping at the sensitive skin of his neck. Tobio rests one hand in the small of his back and cards his fingers through his hair with the other. Koushi tilts his head back, smiling at him, and Tobio dives in, kissing him hungrily until all the accumulated tension of the day evaporates.

He somehow manages to slide out of his shoes and Koushi helps him with his bag and coat, breaking the kiss only for a moment. They stumble through his apartment, leaving a trail of clothes behind and maneuver into his shower. It's all wandering hands and wet kisses, more foreplay than showering, but they still get the job done. Where the trail of clothes ends, a trail of scattered water drops begins, hastily drying each other off before returning to tangled stumbling right onto Koushi's bed.

Tobio sinks into the mattress, surrounded by Koushi's scent on the pillows and sheets and already smelling a little like him from using his soap. For all his haste in getting Tobio naked, Koushi slows down almost torturously now that he has him in his bed. He explores Tobio's body with his mouth, red blossoming on his skin like markings on a map, illustrating his journey, and Tobio falls into a daze of Koushi, Koushi, _Koushi_ , incoherent words pouring from his lips. The first time, he was ashamed of his tendency to become so vocal during sex, a past-lover disliked it strongly, but Koushi begged him not to stop, coming untouched from hearing his voice alone, and Tobio never held back again.

Koushi is always meticulous when prepping him, showing a restraint he envies, never quite able to copy it. There's a tenderness to him that burns Tobio inside out, always checking, always asking for consent, waiting for his breathless replies, and Tobio feels broken down to his very core by the time he finally sinks into him, inch by inch until he bottoms out.

Tobio struggles to keep his eyes open, but he would never dare miss Koushi's heavy gaze, eyes locked on his and lips parted around low moans. Koushi kisses him while he adjusts, thrusting shallowly once their eyes meet again, and Tobio arches his back, hands searching for purchase on the sheets and finding Koushi's hands instead. Koushi intertwines their fingers and squeezes his hands before guiding them to the perfect place. "Okay?" He breathes against his lips and Tobio wants to scream _yes, yes, yes_ , but only manages a weak nod.

Koushi kisses him again, still thrusting shallowly, and grabs the backs of his thighs, hoisting him up a little. Tobio wraps his legs around his hips and curls his fingers into the sheets. Koushi leans over him, hands resting on either side of his head, and Tobio answers before he can ask. "Yes," he pleads, followed by a string of expletives that he can't hold back and knows will bring Koushi that much closer to finally letting go. He rocks his hips down for good measure and Koushi moans, pulling out a little before thrusting back in.

He builds his rhythm unpredictably and Tobio can no longer think, throwing his head back and squeezing his eyes shut. His voice starts cracking from moaning unabashedly and without pause and Koushi kisses him sloppily, teeth knocking together until it's more panting into each other's mouths than anything else. Tobio loves this, the moment Koushi throws all control out of the window, moving purely on instinct and following only the rhythm their bodies create. He can never quite remember it as well as he'd like, too far gone in the moment to memorise every sound, every sensation, but the hazy memories are still enough to get him through lonely nights.

Koushi's rhythm is becoming more and more irregular and he wraps his hand around Tobio's dick, jerking him off without finesse, but it sends him over the edge in seconds. He comes with Koushi's name on his lips and Koushi follows suit, dropping onto him and panting against his throat. Tobio cradles his head in his hands and guides him to his lips, exchanging soft kisses only interrupted by their heavy breathing. _This_ Tobio loves as well, the moment of the comedown, high strung bodies slowly unwinding. Koushi always stays close, clinging to him for several minutes, and Tobio can touch and kiss as he pleases, usually recharging faster.

Koushi rolls off of him and discards the condom, dropping it in the waste bin strategically placed next to his bed before returning to Tobio's arms. The calm of after wraps around them and Tobio presses a kiss against his forehead. Koushi hums happily and draws circles onto Tobio's thigh. "You're beautiful, you know?" He murmurs against Tobio's neck and gently laps at his skin. Tobio tilts his head back to encourage him, not knowing any other way to respond. "Are you sure?" Koushi asks, surprise evident in his voice, and he nods. They had agreed to only leave hickeys in places that could be covered up and while Tobio doesn't mind his teammates seeing the red marks on him in the changing rooms, his neck has always been off-limits. He already broke that rule several times, addicted to the soft noises Koushi makes when he finds a particularly good spot on his neck, but Koushi has been good about their agreement.

Koushi trails kisses along his neck, going from weak point to weak point as if he's memorised them all. The thought has Tobio breathless and he inhales sharply when Koushi finally decides. He licks and nips at his skin gently before softly sinking his teeth in and sucking it into his mouth. His fingers are still drawing circles on Tobio's thigh, traveling higher and higher in slow motions. Tobio exhales shakily and grabs his hand, placing it on his chest instead. Koushi makes a startled noise and leans back, supporting himself on his arm to hover over Tobio. "Your heart," he exclaims with an edge of awe in his voice and sits up properly.

Koushi presses his palm flat over his own heart and closes his eyes for a moment. He shakes his head and drops his hand, opening his eyes again. Tobio looks at him, waiting for an explanation, and Koushi actually looks a little embarrassed. Tobio sits up as well, taking his hand and hoping it has the same reassuring effect it always has on him. "What is it?" He asks quietly and Koushi pulls his legs against his chest, resting his chin on his knees. He fiddles with Tobio's fingers, not meeting his eyes. "I thought our hearts were in-sync..." He confesses quietly with a light hue of red blossoming on his cheeks and hides his face against his knees.

Tobio wants to kiss him, turn the red bright and vibrant and his quiet breathing into heavy pants. He pats Koushi's head instead, trying to copy the way he usually does it, and cards his fingers through his hair, palm coming to rest against his nape. Koushi lifts his head slowly, still looking slightly embarrassed, and Tobio shuffles a little closer. "Can I?" He asks, holding his hand up, and Koushi sits up straighter, offering some space between his legs and his chest. He nods and breathes out a soft _yes_ , and Tobio slides his palm onto his chest. He lets go of Koushi's hand to feel his own heartbeat and closes his eyes, feeling the gentle thud of their hearts.

There's an irregularity in both of their heartbeats and he waits for them to find their rhythm again, his own taking a moment longer to calm down. Tobio bites down on a smile, knowing his touch affects Koushi the same way Koushi's affects him, the response so similar even without perfect synchronicity. Beating normally, they're all out of sync, but somehow it's perfect. They match up for a beat, fill the other's silence on another and interrupt each other for the rest. It's like a melody that would sound disharmonious to anyone else, but to Tobio it's everything he loves about being with Koushi.

He opens his eyes and finds Koushi looking at him with a soft smile. _Love_. He doesn't know if it's too soon to say it, if Koushi will believe him when they haven't even discussed their relationship, but he's certain that's what it is to him at least. Falling and flying at the same time, floating in a bubble of _them_. There's nothing stagnant about the feeling, constant motion, constant development, growing and growing, but he swallows the words for now.

Tobio knows that he has obsessive spurts, smothering a person with his unconfined interest and sucking them dry for information. He knows those spurts always come to an end when he has all he needs, but he doesn't do it out of malice and he doesn't discard those people, at least that's never his intention. Koushi is _different_ , maybe he's always been different. No matter how many times Tobio latches on, he can't stop coming back for more, beyond volleyball, beyond sexual satisfaction, beyond even the parts of him he feels like he knows intimately, he wants more, _more, more, more_.

Tobio doesn't know how to express any of what he's feeling without potentially overwhelming Koushi, driving him away, and he settles for kissing him, using actions instead of words as his crutch like always. Koushi kisses him back as if he understands everything Tobio's tongue is trying to spell, answering him with an urgency that feels so much like his own, and they lie down in a tangle of limbs, kisses slowly mellowing out.

Tobio's stomach grumbles loudly and Koushi laughs into his mouth, pulling back. "You can wash up while I cook," he offers and pats his ass so casually it has Tobio's face heating up, hiding it against his neck. Koushi laughs again and trails his fingers up and down his back. "How much time do you have?" He asks, voice low, and Tobio bites his neck softly before answering. "I can stay the night." Koushi's fingers pause, resuming their gentle motions after a moment, and he hums, clearly satisfied with his answer. Tobio tilts his head back, kissing his jaw, and starts extracting his limbs. They have time, but he really _is_ hungry.

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Koushi makes the curry while Tobio watches, conversation flowing easily between them. Tobio doesn't feel bad talking mostly about volleyball, it's the most consuming part of his life after all, but he doesn't shy away from venturing into other topics. There's little he feels he can't tell Koushi, skirting only around things that would reveal just how permanently Koushi has made himself a home inside his heart. He doubts he's doing a good job of hiding it, slipping up a few times, but Koushi doesn't show any particular reactions to his missteps.

He would be disappointed if Koushi didn't make him feel so at ease. Despite Tobio's best efforts, the way Koushi talks seems so much more unrestrained and Tobio is in awe of how casually he can mention thinking about him. _It reminded me of you_ and _I wanted to show it to you_ and _You would've liked that_ and and and, so many simple statements sprinkled into his anecdotes. _He_ makes them sound simple, rolling off his tongue so naturally Tobio can’t help but be certain he has a place in his heart as well.

The conversation comes to a momentary stop when the curry is done, eating in comfortable silence with their legs tangled under the table. Koushi gives him a second serving without him having to ask and he hums happily as he eats, giving compliments in between bites. Koushi watches him quietly, expression so tender Tobio almost chokes on his food, and he gets him some milk from the fridge. It's the brand Tobio always used to drink during high school and he cradles the small carton in his hands, throat closing up.

Koushi's foot nudges against his calf and he looks at him, meeting his eyes. "I know we've never really talked about... _this_ ," Koushi gestures between them, "but I was hoping we could." He runs his hand through his hair, smiling nervously, and Tobio blinks at him, thoughts running a mile an hour. "Talk about it, I mean," Koushi adds hastily, looking caught between rambling his way into it and running away from it entirely. "Yes!" Tobio blurts out before he can do either and Koushi's smile grows brighter, familiar in the best way possible. "Yes?" He asks almost teasingly and Tobio's tongue finally feels loose, the one word breaking the restraints he placed on his own voice.

"Yes," he repeats and nods rapidly. "I want _this_ ," he copies Koushi and gestures between them, "to be an _us_. Official with all strings attached." Koushi's smile is so wide now it threatens to split his face and he laughs in a way that's relief and excitement all at once, warm and giddy and infectious. He gets up and rounds the table, pulling Tobio's chair back and sliding onto his lap. "Official with all strings attached," he echoes, framing his face with his hands, and Tobio nods, meeting him halfway. They're both smiling too much for the kiss to last, but Tobio cups the back of his neck to keep him close, smile pressed against smile.

Tobio finishes his second serving with Koushi on his lap and happily sips his milk while he kisses his neck. There's still so much to talk about, but right now he wants to bask in the glow of their mutual adoration. He finishes his milk and they head back to bed, exchanging soft kisses while lying in each other's arms. Nothing is different about the way Koushi feels when Tobio touches him, his lips, his skin, his hands on him; he tastes the same, sounds the same; he makes Tobio feel the way he always does with him, like he finally arrived, safe and comfortable. There's no change in any of it and yet it's not the same, a single piece that's finally shifted into place and making everything that much more _right_.

Koushi rides him and Tobio is a mess of moans and voice cracks once again. He's blabbering worse than usual, semi-coherent thoughts about what he wants to do with him, places he wants to go, food he wants to try, games he wants him to watch. He's pretty sure he mentions Ali Roma, but he’s too far gone to really care, continuing his stream of consciousness. Koushi laughs breathlessly a few times, losing his rhythm, but indulges him, spinning a future for them while edging towards release. It's all so warm and perfect Tobio comes with a voiceless shout of _I love you_ , words swallowed by Koushi's lips.

Koushi makes a mess on his chest, laughing tiredly as he haphazardly wipes him down with wet wipes, and collapses next to him after discarding his condom for him. He wraps around him from behind and Tobio sighs contentedly, sliding his fingers between Koushi's resting on his stomach. The silence is warm and comfortable, wrapping him up in a cocoon of happiness, and he almost starts drifting off.

Koushi kisses his neck and presses a little closer. "I heard Italy is beautiful," he mumbles into his skin and Tobio stiffens involuntarily. Timing never seems to work out in their favour. Koushi squeezes his fingers and leaves another kiss against his neck. "I'd like to visit you. See the places, eat the food, watch your matches," he reassures softly, breath ghosting across Tobio's neck and carving the words into his skin as promises. Tobio relaxes and gives a squeeze in return. "I'll fly you out as often as you want," he offers earnestly, meaning it less selflessly than selfishly, and Koushi bites his shoulder softly. "I make money, too, you know," he scolds him with a laugh, teetering into something softer. "I'll come as often as I can." Tobio nods and returns a quiet _Me, too_ , knowing their meetings will become even scarcer than they've been thus far.

"It won't be that different. You just have to call me more often and I will stop making excuses for why I'm texting you. I'll tell you I miss you and you'll say it back and then we'll talk about our days," Koushi muses with a gentle optimism that makes Tobio believe they can do it. There's a part of him that wonders if Koushi can make long distance seem as easy as he does everything else, things that seem so difficult to Tobio suddenly doable, or if things will grow too tiresome even for him. He wants to believe the former is true, manifesting it inside his head, and pushing away the thoughts that are already imagining the end of what has only just begun. He listens to Koushi soft voice, imagining a future for them, and smiles as it grows more excited when Tobio joins in, wrapping him in a sense of confidence.

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Tobio gets up at the first crack of dawn, light slowly growing brighter and peeking into Koushi's bedroom. It drenches Koushi's skin in a soft hue of blue and Tobio counts the moles he can see from the one sitting right by his eye to the one on his ribcage, cut in half by the blanket covering the rest of them. He ghosts his lips against Koushi's forehead, his mole, his cheek and finally his lips, and slides out of bed, careful not to disturb him. Tobio leaves his bedroom as quietly as he can and gathers his clothes from the trail they left, getting dressed in the hall and grabbing his gym bag.

He stops with his hand halfway to the handle of the front door and turns around, sliding out of his shoes and dropping his bag next to them. Tobio tiptoes back into the bedroom and climbs onto the bed, pressing a real kiss against Koushi's lips. He shakes him awake gently and kisses him again. "I have to go, but I'll be back tonight," he whispers and Koushi nods, still half-asleep and eyes already closing again. He hopes he'll remember when he wakes up, but he'll text him just in case, not wanting to start their official relationship with a misunderstanding.

Tobio steals another kiss and Koushi smiles softly. He mumbles something that sounds like _I love you_ , but is probably _See you later_ , and Tobio leaves in the same way he did before, quietly but feeling infinitely happier and with a sense of possibility. They'll make it work, and if it doesn't, at least he wants it to end knowing he gave it his all, attaching all his strings and holding tightly onto him.

**Author's Note:**

> if you've reached this point, thank you so much for reading this and i hope you enjoyed at least some parts of whatever this was ...... i just love kagesuga so much i can't begin to explain !!!!!! they live rent free in my head :((( happy and married and growing old together
> 
> comments, thoughts, feedback, a thumbs up (or down) are alwayssss alwaysssss appreciated !!!! thank you again for reading and i'll probably write them again and again until i feel 100% satisfied lol *eyes my 10 kagesuga wips*


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